On the coast,
Each wave that broke on the rocks
was assessed 25% per splash,
though the foam dissolved
before we could collect.

Storm systems were next.
Cyclones entering airspace
were dinged at 40% per swirl—
more if they carried rain.
Hurricanes, with their heavy rotation,
were penciled at an extra 60% .
No one explained how to bill the wind.
The files simply piled higher.

Migratory geese received their own table.
$100 per honk;
50% up for flying in the V
Alas,
The birds ignored every invoice,
drifting across skies as if air itself were exempt.

In deeper waters,
whales surfaced without notice.
Their fountains were on the block,
charged at 95% per spout,
though we wondered
who exactly were to swim down with the bill.
The whales kept surfacing, unpaid,
their tails too wide for the receipts.

Echoes off mountains
became a bureaucratic puzzle.
A shout that crossed a mountain range
returned with suspicious clarity.
It was valued at 50% of original volume
for “re-imported acoustics.”
But by the time we calculated the tariff,
the sound had already vanished.

The digitals faced its own crisis.
Forwards crossing borders on WhatsApp groups
were taxed $500 per forward
(plus 50% for recycled jokes).
The digital highways
fell numb, silent and ghosted.

The yawns were the final straw.
Every contagious yawn traced to overseas
was axed at 80% per mouth.
Those who caught it and passed it along
were billed double.
But by the time the audit began,
the whole city was yawning too hard to sign.